Episode 9 - Preparing for Divorce (Stages of Divorce Series, Part 1/5)
Welcome to the top Texas Lawyers podcast. This podcast is brought to you by the law firm Abercrombie and Sanchez PE LLC.
Your hosts are Brian Abercrombie and Samuel Sanchez. Brian has been practicing law for 18 years and his board certified that sort of legal specialization in the area of family law. Sam has been practicing for 13 years, his license in both Texas and Florida and is a certified mediator. This podcast is for informational purposes only and all views are the opinion of the hosts. It's not designed to provide legal advice for your particular legal matter, and it should not replace the advice of.
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Good afternoon and welcome to the top Texas Lawyers podcast. I'm your host, Brian Abercrombie, and with me as always is Sam Sanctions. Sam, how you doing? I'm doing well. Bryan Doing well. Well, we've got an exciting topic today to talk about. We're gonna we're gonna break this down into a five part series. So I think we're gonna cover a lot of useful information. And the first part of this series is gonna be kind of a how do you how it looks before you file for divorce and then we're gonna gonna gonna go through the different stages of divorce in later episodes. But in an effort to kind of bring a little bit of humor on a difficult topic, I think we can certainly have a song montage, an 80s moment, if you will, Sam, on talking about divorce and talking about how it's going back.
Take me back, brother. Thuggery. All right. Let's do it.
So you're gonna make me cry.
Take us back to a junior hired junior high school days in seventh grade.
And it kind of goes on from there. But then you kind of get the general idea of what we're talking about here. But I broke out the Kleenex and the. Yeah. They got about like I'm going to have have some cookies and something sweet and bring me back some bluebell and all that stuff.
But now, in all seriousness, I mean that, you know, what do you do when it's over? What do you do? You know, that's that's we get asked that question a lot. We do a lot of consultations with new clients and and people that are about to venture down this road of divorce, which is a long and kind of complicated road. But, you know, Sam, what do you what do you tell people that come into the office and they say, hey, Sam, you know, I'm looking at going through this. What do I need to do? What I need to be looking for?
Sure. You know, how do you know when you know? You know, it's a difficult it's a difficult question to answer for a lot of people. You know, first and foremost, I would tell you that really, you know, I tell clients at the conclusion of the inception, depending on how the initial consultation is going, is are you really ready to be divorced? Because that's really the first hurdle anyone has to come to grips with is they're going to kind of, you know, proceed down the path. And, you know, in it, once you've come to that conclusion, once you've said, you know, OK, I really feel like the relationship is over. I'm playing their supply every day in my car. And when I get home, you know, there's just no hope left. I need to do something to protect what I've worked my whole life to build my family, my fortune, my my assets, whatever it may be.
And let's let's be real clear up at the front of this. I mean, no lawyer should ever really counsel a client to get a divorce. I mean, that's really what you do in the situation when either you've already made the decision or in some instances when the decision has been made for you.
Absolutely. You know, and to that point, Brian, I think when you get to that that junction in the road that you know that, hey, I'm going to have to go down this path, there's a lot of things that I think smart lawyers tell their clients to do. And first and foremost is one, you have to really kind of identify some personal goals. I tell clients, you know, sit down. And at the end of this process, imagine what life would be like. So how if everything were to work out exactly how you wanted. Write down these goals. I would like to see, you know, my my kids. 50 percent of the time or the majority of the time or, you know, have this particular.
I think you guys are. Yeah.
And I think you and I have basically a very, very similar approach to that. I mean, I I tell him to talk about goals and what you want life to look like after the divorce, no matter how ridiculous you think that goal might be right now. Go ahead, list it. And, you know, we'll work through the various goals, whether it's 1 through 10 A to, you know, however many goals there are. Let's let's get them down and let's let's talk about them.
Once you have that list of goals and objectives, then it's easy to kind of backtrack because now you've kind of figured out, well, that's the end game. How do we do our best to get there? You know, in that it's really kind of starting the plan and really facilitating that plan is going to be knowing yourself. Right. Know thyself. Play Shakespeare.
You know, in that you have to really look at your life and the context of it and what all exists, not just, you know, financially, real, property wise, what you really need to take the assessment of kind of the emotional stockpile of what exists, because all of those things are going to be relevant through the process.
And I think you probably need to do a little bit of self self-criticism during that time, too, and say, OK, where where do you where does it look like I'm gonna get attacked on this? Because that's one of the things you have to prepare for, too, is what what is the other side going to say about me? What is my partner, who I've been with for 20 years, who knows every intimate detail about my life gonna say about me now that they're on the other side of the table? So that's that's something that you really got to kind of take a critical look at. And just and just see, you know, and if you're talking about before you file for divorce. Sam, what do you tell your your spouse or significant other. What do you tell that person about going to see a lawyer?
You know, I think if they're asking, you know, I want to get some advice, I always tell clients it's better to be informed. You know, the more informed you are, the more practical the decision will be.
A lot of times, the more able, the more you are going to be able to defuse difficult situations if you're armed with some form knowledge. Now, what you don't want to do is send somebody off to be ultra informed when you really don't know what's going on because you get yourself right, you're giving them a distinct advantage. I mean, consider yourself a student of some suit, right?
The art of war, you know, in that you know, that text, a lot of what it goes about talking is really knowing your enemy, know yourself, know your enemy, know your weaknesses, know your strengths and know the battlefield.
Because once you understand the lay of the land, you'll understand where it is going to be that more lot more than likely the battles will occur if they're going to occur and how to kind of direct things away from them or towards them depending on the situation or what they dictate.
And that's a good point, because you and another point is, do you tell your spouse you're going to see a lawyer? And I would tell you that, you know, looking back at the art of war, I would tell you that you don't tell you don't say anything about going to see a lawyer before before you do. And I think that's something that you keep between you and the lawyer. There's just so much. I mean, you may go to a lawyer to talk about a divorce and never get a divorce. So I think it's always something better that you just keep confidential between you and your lawyer until the time comes when you need to file.
Because a lot of times it's incendiary, right, Brian? I mean, at least in my experience, if you're if you're already having problems, you're already having difficulties in the relationship.
And then somebody comes in and says, and guys like us to the mix doesn't help you pouring gas on it.
And all of a sudden somebody goes scorched-earth when it really didn't need to happen that way. And a lot of times it's it's it's it's it's the preliminary conversations that get you into trouble because you haven't had the opportunity to really formulate a plan. You haven't had an opportunity to really gather the information that we're going to advise you to do in step one, which is, hey, you know, I'm preparing for a potential divorce. What do I need to do? Well, the last thing you need to do is give up your advantage.
Right. So let's talk about what you need to look at and what you need to bring to the lawyers. You're going into a consultation. You've set up your you're meeting with your lawyer. What kinds of things do you need to get together for? Not necessarily for that consultation. Because you can just go in and talk and get information, it never hurts to go to that. But what I'm talking about is, OK, you've made the decision. I'm going to move forward with this. What kind of things do I need to get together so that my lawyer can have it, so that we can we can move this process forward efficiently, fast.
You know, whatever they get, they have a list of assets.
You know, a financial information statement is great, minimal. That basic needs is the laundry list of what you make and what you pay on a monthly basis. Those are debts and obligations. You know, when I talk about assets, a lot of times people say, well, you know, I've got to car. I've got some bank accounts. Well, what's in them? What are they? What are the additions that you add to them where they auto draft? Are they joint accounts? How many different accounts are they doing? The kids have accounts. Are we going to have to deal with specific personal property or their collectibles? Are there weapons? Are they you know, all these kinds of different things are good to know so that you can help give this information to your children because they can issue spot for you. They can help kind of direct the conversation to address concerns that you may not even think of.
And the other thing is, I mean, get things together, you know, that have value tax returns for the last couple of years, retirement statements. I mean, even frequent flyer miles award programs, you'd be shocked at the kinds of things that we do. We divide up on a daily basis just because I mean, they do have I mean, somebody has a million frequent flyer miles that does have value that does have value in the divorce.
I mean, things related to employment compensation that could be, you know, your company car. That could be stock options. It could be I mean, all of those things your lawyer is gonna want it want to going to need to have that information. And the sooner you can get in, get that to your lawyer, the better off you're going to be.
I would tell you that in just about every divorce case, at least in every divorce case that goes to trial, an inventory and a preisdent is needed. And that is a list of all your assets and all your debts. And it's something you're swearing to the court.
This is all my assets. This is all my liabilities. And I'm swearing that this is what it is. And you're gonna have to swear to that. So the sooner you start getting that information together, the better off you're going to be.
But I will tell you that you'll save yourself in the long run, a lot of time and a lot of legal fees if you come to the table with as much stuff as you can get together and save your lawyer a lot of time.
And it gives them insight and gives us guidance. You know you know, the most difficult thing that I have to deal with with clients is the situation where they're considering it. Maybe both sides are coming to the conclusion that divorce is going to happen. It's likely to happen. Inevitably, there'll be that last fight, that last argument. And you know what always disappears, Bryant always disappears is important documents, important document. You know why it gets up and walks out? Because that's always in one file and there's one copy and everybody knows where it's at. And the second that somebody gets mad at somebody else, it disappears because their lawyers say, hey, make sure you get copies of this or had these in a secure place.
And so the person who's prepared, an expert, gets those things. The other person is in it as a at a disadvantage because they don't know their kids Social Security numbers. You know, they don't know. They don't have their shot records. They don't have all the kinds of things that become relevant and important as things go forward.
And that's the other thing. Just assume that you know it, since you are getting a divorce and you're going through it through a divorce, that there is an absolute breakdown in trust and there. And normally it brings normally. Divorce is something that brings out the worst in good people. And so just assume that there's a breakdown in trust and that they're going to accuse you of having the secret girlfriend's account in the Caymans or or wherever. So the more stuff that you can show the same look, all every nickel of income that I make is accounted for in these documents, whether it's spent or whether it's saved or whether it's put a retirement or whatever. I don't have a secret slush fund in the Caymans that I'm sending my girlfriend on trips, you know, and things like that. It's important to be able to show that because like I said, the other lawyer is not going to take your word for it. Of when I was there and when I was not there.
So the important thing to do is try to try to be as efficient as you can and again, account for every every dollar that you have.
Incredibly so. And you know, Brian, you know, the thing about that is every person in the world has a crazy switch. I mean, we all have that. We flip him on and off and on and off and on and on. And if there's a time that you're going to flip your crazy switch, a lot of times it's going to be when you're threatened or you're you're propositioned with, you know, a divorce. You know, the end of a relationship, the culmination of a financial agreement that's binding between parties that have been in existence for years. You know, put everything that you believe in, everything that you value at risk, and then have somebody say, I want to take some of that. And tell me that you're not potentially going to flip that switch. You you a lot of times will and church. And so planning is going to be very important in that. You know, I will tell you that the other piece of what I will try to tell clients to do is if you have children. So let's just touch on the fact that you are not married couples are going to have children. But if you do have children, it absolutely complicates things. And absolutely in that, it complicates your plan because inevitably, you know, in a in a relationship. You know, husband, wife, husband, husband, wife, wife, whatever the relationship is. Once you're together for a while, everybody assumes a role. Right. You have a role.
And it may be that you're the provider and you you're doing or your husband might have the role that he's staying at home. So he's you know, instead of providing funds for the house, he's actually providing support. Well, in that support role, that means that he's doing all of the doctors appointments and the parent teacher conferences and all the things that you don't have time to do, because guess what? Mom is the CFO who's making all the money and working 80 hours a week. And so she can't attend those things because of the restrictions of her job. Well, those are roles that we've kind of evolved into when you start contemplating divorce. You really have to take a hard look at the role that you've assumed in the relationship and then really understand if that role is going to be able to sustain itself once you've concluded the divorce process. So when you look at your goals and objectives, I sit down with clients all the time and I say, OK, I see here that CFO, mom, you want to be the primary parent. Except for that, you haven't been the primary parent for the last three years since you got this high paying job in a Fortune 100 company and dad's been a stay at home dad. So if you're going to want that role, we really need to course correct some of the things that are in life right now before we even get into that process, before we even ever file, before we tip our hand.
And so these are the kinds of conversations you absolutely need to have with your attorney. Once you've created these so that they can help you kind of formulate that plan and put it in action.
And that's a good point. I mean, this thing this doesn't have to be like thrown together on a moment's notice. And, you know, you if you're if you've got the the advantage of when you're going to file for divorce. I mean, take your time and get your ducks in a row before you do it. That could be going down and getting all the daycare records about who's done all the pickup and drop offs at daycare for the last six months or a year or school records, who's attended all the parent teacher conference or who signed the daily homework folder or whatever the case may be. And you've got to look at what you think your issues are going to be in the divorce and then get your documentation together that supports whatever position you want, if you like. You said before, if you've got the CFO who's been working all the time, you have time to course. Correct and change the narrative of what it's going to look like when you go to court, because the judge is going to look at, hey, what is been going on in these people's lives before the divorce was filed, what was the family dynamic? Who drove the minivan and who went to work? You know, that's that's what that's what they're going to look at. So you've got to you've got to kind of look at it in terms of how do I want to change the narrative.
Yeah. And Brian, you know, I tell clients all the time, you know, being a litigator, you know, being, you know, somebody who spent a lot of their legal life in the courtroom like you and I have, you know, what we are is we're painters. We're painters. And what we're doing in the courtroom is we're painting a picture, painting the picture for a judge, painting the picture for a jury. And it's always the best looking picture that's going to come out on top when you're in trial.
And so but that picture, it's not something that's just created at trial. That's where everybody has this misconception. That's our clients a lot of time. Make this huge mistake thinking that, well, I can paint the picture during the divorce process and it'll be fine. No, that picture is always going to be less brilliant, less well-thought out, less defined than somebody else's picture. Who really thought that in advance and started the sketch work, started gathering the colors. And what I mean by that is that plan that we're talking about that course correctly.
And I have a very, very good trial lawyer. Tell me one time that if you feel like you need two weeks to try your case, you're going to get a week. You feel like you need a week to try your case. You're going to get three days. If you feel like you need three days to try your case, you're going to get one day. And if you feel like you're going to need one day to try your case, you're going to get about three hours. So you're going to have a little like you like like your painting analogy.
You're going to have a very, very small window in which to paint a snapshot of what life looks like. So it's important to be as efficient as possible and have as much as much documentation as you as you can on the front side.
When you the cool thing about, you know, the art of war, since it was one of the things that he would talk about was very Machiavellian as well, which is that you can win a war before you ever started with proper planning. Right. You out think you outmaneuver them, you prepare. And then by the time you actually get into the action of kind of moving things forward, people who are wise and smart and intelligent and perceptive when they find themselves at that huge disadvantage, that's what's going to help you settle a case. So it never even gets to trial, because if you've already been outplayed out, out, kind of maneuvered at the. on-set did a lot of times, even all the best catch up that you can play might not get you back into a position of equality, right. And so those are the kinds of things that right now where you're in step one, phase one, you kind of decided I'm I'm ready to go forward. You put all these pieces together well in advance of executing Inception.
And like I said, we you if you're the one who files you, kind of you can control the kind of playing field a little bit. And if you have all your ducks in a row, just assume I always tell people to assume that a you know, an Iron Curtain is gonna come down as the second you file or the second that your spouse knows that you're about to get a divorce and Iron Curtain is gonna come down and you're gonna be locked out of the information superhighway, so to speak. You're not going to be able to communicate.
Now, I can be able to get information because everybody's gonna put on their their their boxing gloves and hire their gladiator to help them out. So get all the information that you can on the front sides. You know, whether that sometimes I mean, we're in a you know, in a social media age, and sometimes that means downloading the Facebook page. Sometimes that means getting the credit report. Sometimes that means getting emails that you need pertinent emails, pertinent text messages, all of the things that that, you know, think of the ways that people communicate and think of the issues that you're going to have. And, you know, it maybe is also lining up a potential character, witnesses, a different things like that and figuring out people who are the most important people that that could possibly testify in this situation.
And then if there's you know, and I hate to say this, but in a lot of instances, if there's drug issues or alcohol issues, that gives you give yourself a window to get clean or make sure you're gonna you're gonna test clean on drug testing. And if sometimes that's 90 days, sometimes that's six months, sometimes that's, you know, 30 days, whatever the case may be.
Yeah. I try to tell clients it's pure procurement and recruitment. Right. That's what you're doing at this time. You're procuring your story, your witnesses, your evidence, you're recruiting.
And if you don't have them, you're creating them. You know, because the second to your point, Bryan, the second that you file or you tell your significant other, hey, I'm ready to file. Guess who gets cut off from you? You're the other side of the family. You know, people pick sides, even friend. Yes.
Friends that you'll have known for years. And you're going to say, hey, you know what? I know I can count on this person. They're just going to say I'm a great person, but they choose. Then all of a sudden they're like, if they don't choose, they choose by not choosing. They say, hey, you know what?
I don't want to be involved. I'm not going to really pick a side.
I'm not going to say one way or the other, even though you've known this person for 10 years and they can absolutely attest to the kind of father or parent or investor or, you know, whatever relationship partner you are. They don't want to be involved. And even though you can compel that process, it makes it very difficult and potentially a hostile witness as you go forward. So you really want to spend some time evaluating your friends, your family, your story, your picture to make sure that you well prepared to kind of move forward.
Then just assume that we're gonna get cut out of the information and know a lot of times family circled the wagons around family, and so you've got to be prepared for that. And you've got to kind of take the high road where you can because you don't know who's going to turn on you.
You don't know where. I mean, in a sense, it kind of is like a civil war where, you know, people pick sides and, you know, it's brother against brother sometimes. So you really have to you really have to line up your character witnesses. You really have to line up what you think it's going to look like. And, you know, and and let me caution that we don't go around telling everybody about your marital problems and things like that, because that can backfire on you, too. I think you've got to be really kind of guarded about what you tell people. And at the same time, you've got to be procuring your witnesses. You've got to be procuring your your information and things like that.
Yeah. And as to follow up on that point. So let's talk about the type of divorce that you can anticipate. Right. Do you anticipate your partner? You know their mousie, you know how they're going to behave if they you anticipate them flipping that crazy switch, you know, going scorched earth, then you really have to really up kind of your plan.
And what I mean by that is really contemplate the financial struggle that divorce can impose upon a family and their finances. You have to be able to, you know, sustain a war if you know that you're going to go into a war.
And war is very expensive litigation. It's like I tell people the sport of kings. Right. It's like polo. And I know all of Brian's friends play polo.
I play polo. You know, it is a sport of kings.
It's expensive to play that game. It is expensive to litigate in court. And so if you anticipate that it's going to be hotly contested, there's gonna be a lot of a lot of drama, a lot of fight, a lot of, you know, war. You have to start assembling a war chest. And that could be planning, you know, six months, a year in advance to really set aside capital. So like people are coming at tax season. You know, as lawyers, we kind of look around and we say, oh, yeah, tax season's coming up. Boy, people just start filing lies because it's the first time in a year that they're going to have readily available resources that potentially can get them to a launch point in the divorce process because it's not an expensive. And so that really needs to be a part of your plan as well as contemplate your finances, try to anticipate.
So talking to a lawyer early so that, you know, hey, want to have that quality representation and to I know the financial constraints of what I'm going to need to set aside or have available to me, whether it be from friends, family loan, credit card, cash, whatever it is to be able to sustain this fight as we go forward.
And then other thing that's that that leads me to a good point would be sometimes one of the biggest, biggest things we see is somebody putting a financial strain on one spouse, putting a financial stranglehold on the other spouse. For example, one person goes down and pulls every single thing out of the checking account and puts it in puts it in a separate checking, Kathyrn. Only they have access to. It's kind of a kind of a power and control move that a lot of spouses do to get the upper hand in the divorce case.
They think, oh, okay, well, I don't give them any money to live on. They can't leave me right. Or if I don't give them any money to live on, then they can't do anything. So that might be, you know, something that's part of the planning. You you've put aside money in an account that you might need for living expenses or childcare expenses or whatever the case may be to get you through the rough time, because the divorce process, once it gets going, it could it could last six months, nine months, a year, 14 months, 18 months. I mean, they can last a while. They can go 60 days. They have to go at least 60 days. But they can go a heck of a lot longer than 60 days and sometimes even a year or more.
Yeah. Brian. And, you know, you know, when you're financially cut off at the knees and just really don't, you know, you have a quality of life that's going to completely change when you're going to enter into this process.
One, courts, you know, courts control your assets. I try to tell clients once you file for divorce, you're really submitting yourself, your property, your family to the guys in control of somebody who doesn't know you. All your property then is owned by the court. It's not yours anymore. You stop being an owner, you become a steward. Your children are not yours. They're lent to you by the court.
And you have to take care of all these things, these assets, these children that are loaned back to you until they become yours again. Once a final order is issued by the court. And so as you contemplate your goals and objectives and your lane, that kind of track that you intend to follow, you really have to look at where am I going to live if we file and neither one of us can live with each other because we hate each other now and we scream and yell and we don't want the kids around that. Where am I going to stay if I can't stay at the house?
And if I can stay if I'm kicked out of the house, where is she going to go? Where am I going to go? Being lemmings, keep them. Because if you to your point.
Right, if you have the. Answers to that story, or at least versions of that story, you're much more prepared to enter into that process because you've already contemplated and have contingencies in place for things that could happen.
And that's you know, that's a very, very important because, you know, let's talk about the divorce case with to the parents. You know, if you have two good parents on either side, whether that be a husband, a husband, a wife and a wife or a husband and wife, let's say you have two good parents are both active and involved. How does a judge decide custody as a judge, decide temporary custody? You have to be just as prepared as, you know, your wife or your husband would be to be kicked out of the home and not having temporary primary conservatorship.
You have to you have to prepare for every eventuality.
And that may mean securing another place to live, you know, or at least having a plan in place and having the means to do that.
Yeah. Because, you know, the last thing I tell clients is, you know, judges are just people in robes. I mean, they're super smart. Don't get me wrong. And they have a ton of experience. But in the end, they don't know everything. They don't know the answers to all the questions that you present to them. And a lot of times they're going to base decisions upon the facts that you present to them. You know, courts are like rivers. Right. And so every river in the continental United States appears on a map. And it's the blowing that way for hundreds of years. Right. Well, people are like the water in the rivers. And what I mean by that is water follows the path of least resistance. Courts are very similar to that, because if a court looks at your life and says this is what's been in place and it's been working just fine, why do I need to change it, then I'm going to be lazy like water and follow the path of least resistance because I don't need to change. There is no reason to until when you have two good parents who both love their kids, who are both active and involved.
A court can look at that and say status quo is great unless you can't live together and then the status quo won't work. And so what is going to be the determining factor in that situation? You can help dictate those terms or at least put yourself in the best position for a court to rule to rule in your favor. If you look at the facts and kind of start planning to put the things in place, that will be important for you to be able to come out on top of that kind of kind conversation.
And I would tell you that, you know, every judge is different with respect to what those determining factors are going to be. So you don't necessarily know going into it.
You know what courts are going to be in until you actually file. So you really have to prepare for, you know, as many eventualities as you can. And that's where a good frontside planning, you know, is critical. So let's talk a little bit about the takeaways. Well, what people should take away from this episode.
Well, I think that, you know, like you said, first and foremost, a clear, well-defined list of goals and objectives. That's number one, in my opinion. Once you create that so that you kind of look to the future and say beyond the relationship that I'm in. What is life going to look like once you've established that you want to work backwards, go back to step one and say, OK, now I know I want to be this when I grow up, how do I get there? And that really becomes number two. Talk to a lawyer, seek expert advice, good counsel, but bring to them, number three, a list of information to help them properly advise you. That's a list of financial assets. That's a list of issues or concerns surrounding your children or any type of property or businesses that you might own or financial obligations that you have.
Because those things give you at least a good starting point to be able to have a solid plan created for you to be able to move forward through the process if and when it begins.
And I would I would tell you that get as much information as you can together on the front side before you ever actually make a final decision. Go ahead and get retirement statements, tax returns, social media, text messages, emails, photographs, if necessary, whatever information you think you're going to need. Get it on the front side and have it. You may never needed a lot of a lot of what I like to tell clients is get more than you think you should, but then you think you're actually going to need because the lawyer can tell you, hey, I don't I don't need that and I'm not going to use it. I'd rather have it not need it to need it. Not have it. I mean, that's the that's the real that's the real takeaway from this, though. So take your time, think about things and get your information together.
And and you're gonna be a lot more successful and it's probably going to make for a lot more efficient process to.
So number four, procurement. That's all the information.
Yeah. Number five, obviously start recruiting those witnesses and get them on together.
But number six, Brian, I would tell you. Number six, at least. And I think a final point for being prepared is a financial strategy.
Okay. A financial strategy of you sitting down and really looking at it and understanding your state, your financial obligations, your assets that are available and making sure that you have a solid place, whether it's putting money aside, getting a credit card that's available, it doesn't have anything on it. You're going to be able to utilize the process, you know, setting up a conversation with a very trusted relative to say I'm going to be able to borrow money from you if and when I need to.
And that's really going to kind of give you a forum and a place to stay for a couple of weeks or a couple of months or in lining out that kind of stuff, whatever you need. That's, you know, like I said, it's it's kind of the Boy Scout motto and this one, be prepared. It's, you know, it's really taking stock of your life.
And then, you know, like I said, you have if you're gonna be the one file and you have the time to get it right and get what you want to get together now may be maybe miserable in the short term. But remember that you are working towards a goal and all of this has a purpose.
So I guess is everything else you got family to take us out to the lovely tunes of the eighties.
J I got my Kleenex. I'm going to I'm going to go make a Ben and Jerry's and be prepared for what happens once we get that step one. But I think it's a well.
But just to talk a little bit about where we're gonna go with the next one, we're gonna talk a little bit in the next episode about kind of, okay, the divorce file, then what do you do? How does the process look on you after the divorce is filed?
Maybe it's the before the temporary orders happen or maybe there is a need for temporary orders or not. You know, not a need for temporary orders. But how does that process look once a filing has been made, whether it whether you get served with papers or whether you do the filing yourself? How does that look and what do you do at that point? So that'll be part two coming to you very quickly by then. But, Sam, rock on to the 80s. You're you're my deejay, man.
You played on the radio. All right. Take care, guys. We'll see you next time.
I'm so lost so long, I wanted to say a lot.
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